Monday, July 30, 2012

High School Reunion

I need to give you a rundown of the whole family so you have a better idea of who I am, but that will have to wait. For now, you get to hear all about my 20 year high school reunion this weekend. Let me preface this by saying that I have not really kept in close contact with anyone that I graduated with. I have reconnected with a few people on Facebook, but that has been about the extent of it. Maintaining close relationships over long periods of time is really not a strong point of mine.

With all that said, I really was looking forward to the reunion and seeing everybody again. The venue was really pretty nice, it was at a local hotel and it was organized very well. I did end up having a great time and talked to quite a few old friends that I was excited to see. I wish that my best friend had made the trip because I would have loved to have seen him, but he lives down in GA now so I understand.

Now, there was a cash bar at the reunion and here is where I tend to struggle. I have an issue with alcohol in social situations in that I have problems knowing when to stop. This has led to many bad decisions in the past and as a result, guilt over drinking. My ex and I used to drink a lot when we were together and I have really tried to make a conscious effort to limit my drinking in the past few years. For one thing, I can't drink like I used to when I was in my 20's. My body just doesn't recover that fast and I always feel like crap the next day. For another thing, now that I am trying to lose weight, it doesn't make sense to waste calories on beer or wine. So back to the reunion, I decided to drink wine and at least I had the good sense to stick with one type of alcohol for the evening and not mix it up. That would have been disastrous for sure. Later in the evening, I was talking with a group of people and one guy ended up buying a round of drinks for everyone. I should have said no thank you, because I'd already had 3 glasses at that point, but who can refuse free drinks? Not this girl, apparently. Now, for the rest of the night, I did not buy myself another drink, but he kept buying them for everyone. As a result, I drank way more than I should have. Why? Because my inner voice likes to drink as much as I do and instead of saying, "you've had enough", I hear, "let's drink more". She and I should have a talk.

My whole point in writing this is that yesterday, not only did I feel shitty for drinking so much, I also felt guilty. I didn't drive, I didn't make out with a stranger or go home with someone so why the guilt? I simply had a good time with some old friends and drank too much wine. I'm sure it is residual guilt from years of making bad decisions but that doesn't make it feel any better.

On a lighter note, here is a pic of me and two of my lovely friends that I enjoyed reconnecting with.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Introduction

Hello! I have been comtemplating creating a blog for a while and finally took the plunge and signed up. Now I have a place for all my musings and semi-intelligent ramblings. Aren't you glad you found this?

A little bit about me: My name is Amanda and I never know exactly how to describe myself. I do have quite a few titles, as I'm sure many people do; Mother, Daughter, Sister, Niece, Aunt, Girlfriend, ex-Wife, Corporate Professional... the list can go on and on.

I am the mother of five beautiful daughters, ages: 16, 12, 10, 9(nearly), and 2. I have a great boyfriend, who is my rock and without whom, I would be lost. I am fortunate to have a good relationship with my ex-husband, which is a good thing because I know how quickly things can get ugly.

I work in a small division of a large corporation, which can be both good and bad. For the most part, I do enjoy my job as it is rewarding although not without its stressful moments.

Currently, I am on my own weight loss journey and am happy to report that I have lost 10 lbs in one month! After being the same weight for years, I am very proud of my accomplishment.

Well, that should give you a little taste of what my blog is going to be about; my family, my daily life and my weight loss struggles. Hopefully, I can connect with someone or maybe it will just be my own personal journal that no one else reads. We'll see...