Thursday, January 31, 2013

February Goals

Confession time. I have not worked out since my run on Sunday. I had every intention of going for a short run on Tuesday, but my stomach was upset so I wasn't feeling it. Last night, I just had a couple beers and went to bed early. I feel like January was kind of my "month off". I was still running since I wanted to get ready for my 10K, but I slacked on my eating and slacked on doing any other types of workouts.

I also took a break from the scale as I was making myself crazy. That's not to say I didn't step on it at all because hey, what else is there to do while I wait for the shower to warm up. I just stopped obsessing about it.

February dawns a new month, though. I want to get back on track and work towards getting down to my original goal of 135. I have the Warrior Dash in April to get ready for and I sure don't want to be soft for that. Plus, we cannot forget Operation Red Bikini. This girl wants to be able to wear a bikini for the first time in 14 years.

 So, I have a few things in mind to keep me going this month. First off, I am joining Meredith and Jillian to do Ripped in 30 every day this month. This is going to be a struggle for me as I have yet to complete a full month of the 30DS. I am also going to continue running. I find that I do enjoy it and while I may never be a long distance runner, it is a great cardio workout and it is a great way to blow off steam.

Now, have you heard about the new Dietbet that Courtney is sponsoring? She did one in December and the pot got up to over $7000. I, sadly, did not meet my goal during that month, but I am bound and determined to get this done this month. I figure that I am at about 147-148 lbs which means I will need to lose 6 pounds. Tough, but totally doable.
Last, but not least, my goal is to get my eating in check. While I have slacked, I have not gone totally crazy and been eating everything in sight, but I still need to rein it in. I would like to go back to Paleo eating, even if it isn't 100%. I just felt so much better when I cut out grains and sugar. I'm still not eating hardly any dairy and I don't really miss it all that much. Planning out my meals will be key for me. As I've mentioned before, I am not a planner, like at all. This usually results in buying something quick for lunch or whipping up something last minute for dinner.

These are my goals for February. I really like setting month to month goals instead of whole year resolutions. Let's face it, I don't know where I'll be mentally or physically when September rolls around so how can I plan that far in advance? Haha, planning. Who am I kidding?

How about you? Any new goals for the new month?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Should Have taken a Snow Day

Happy Wind-sday to you. (Winnie the Pooh, anyone?) We had a hell of a snowstorm blow in today. The roads weren't too bad driving in, not that I was driving, but people still freak out whenever there is snow. This is Missouri/Kansas people, you should be used to snow by now. I made it to work in just under two hours.. and now I'm ready to go home. This is the kind of day meant for staying curled up in bed with a good book. Oh well, guess I'll fake it through the rest of the day.

Have you ever been in one of those meetings where someone has the great "get to know you" idea of having everyone tell something about themselves that no one else knows? *crickets* This has happened to me twice in the past few weeks. I tend to freeze up whenever I hear that. Think of something witty and interesting on the spot? Panic time. I don't ever feel like I have something good to say. I'm sure there are a lot of things that people don't know about me, but I don't necessarily want to share them in a work setting. Of course, my mind always blanks when I'm put on the spot like that anyway. So, instead of coming off as the hilarious and charming person that I know I am, I come off as boring and lame. Sigh. I need to write a couple things down so I have them available to pull out at times like those or I need to go back and read this post.

I need to thank everyone who commented on Monday's post about my race. I was being unnecessarily hard on myself and I just need to step up and be proud of my accomplishments. That is tough for me. I have this weird feeling of just not being good enough. I'm working on it, but it is slow going. This is where therapy would come in handy, but what is blogging if not your own form of therapy?  Anyway, thank you so much for all the encouraging words, they really meant a lot.

Story of my life
I am still working on my giveaway because I am now at over 100 followers. Holla! That will be coming to you very soon. In the meantime, I am participating in a little Pay it Forward campaign. I got this from Amy and Marcy. The first 5 people to comment on this post will receive something from me in the next few months. It could be a gift card, some music, a book or something that just struck me. I love the idea of brightening someone's day with an unexpected gift. The catch is that you must offer to Pay it Forward on your own blog so that you can share the love. Or, if you don't have a blog, you can pay it forward in your own little way. Just let me know what you did because I love those little stories.

Anyone have good "get to know you" stories I can borrow?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Meeting Blogger Friends and a 10K

Good morning everyone! I'm not really that cheery this morning, so I'm faking it. :) First off, I want to say welcome to all my new followers! I am truly overwhelmed and so excited for you to join me. And yes, I realize that a lot of you want to win Lora's giveaway, buy hey, I'll take what I can get. Plus, I said that I would host a giveaway when I reached 50 followers so I will have that up soon.

So, on to the weekend recap. Saturday morning I had an appointment to get my hair done and I knew I wanted to get it colored again. I didn't tell Jason so it was a nice surprise for him. I told my stylist that I wanted to go bright red so she brought out some samples and we picked the best one. I have to say, it turned out a lot darker than I anticipated. I was thinking more coppery, but I am really starting to like it. I posted a pic on IG, but I don't know that the color came through so here is a better pic from this morning.

Saturday night, I met up with my fellow runners in training, Holly, Darci, Molly and Darci's two non-blogger friends, Breckin and Fallon. Darci chose The Cheesecake Factory on the Plaza for her birthday dinner, but there was a two hour wait. We went next door to Forever 21 to shop and kill some time and I actually ended up finding two cute shirts that I bought. We went back after an hour and got some drinks and after an interminable wait, finally got seated at 8:45pm. Holly put her name in at 6:30pm so needless to say, we were starving. Dinner was great and we had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs. We made sure to get Darci a birthday piece of cheesecake and sang to her very loudly. After dinner, they were going to go to a bar for another drink, but I packed it in and went home. I knew that I needed to get to bed if I was going to get up and run.

Holly and I - the only picture I took that night
 Sunday morning dawned cold and rainy and I didn't get up early like I wanted to. This resulted in a last minute dash to get everything and everybody packed up and in the car. Jason and Emmeline came along to support me. The race was held in these man made underground caves. They aren't caves in the general sense, more like underground storage and access roads for deliveries. It was all climate controlled so you did get a bit of a stale air feeling, but there were places where there was a nice breeze from outside.

Since I got there a little late, I only met up with the girls right as the race was starting. Then, because my pace was slower, I didn't see them again until the end of the race. This was a very tough race for me mentally. I wanted to try and run the entire thing but I did end up walking. There was absolutely no cell reception so I couldn't listen to music via Pandora and I couldn't use my Nike+ running app. Having no music was tough, I think that would have helped me push through a little more. I started to get really discouraged when the freakishly fast runners from the first wave started lapping me and they were completing the race when I was starting my second lap around the course. At that point, I was mentally drained. I wanted to quit and just say, "fuck it" and just had tears running down my face. I came upon the next water station, though and all the volunteers were encouraging and saying, "Great job" and "You got this". That helped me perk back up soI did not quit and ran/walked the rest of the 3.1 miles. I finished with a time of 1:24.

Darci, Breckin, Molly, Holly, Me
The rest of the day, I was just feeling really down on myself and disappointed that I couldn't run the whole race. If I can run on a treadmill, why the hell is running a road so much more difficult? Jason told me that I was being too hard on myself. Regardless of whether I ran or walked, I still completed a 10K and I should be really proud of that. He definitely helped put it in a different perspective so I'm feeling better about it today. It could just be that I was PMSing hard, but fortunately Aunt Flo waited until after the race to make her monthly visit. So considerate of her.
My short term goals for running now are to focus less on long distance runs and focus more on my endurance. Once it starts getting warmer, I am going to get my ass outside and get those runs in. If I can run in my hilly neighborhood, then I should be able to run anywhere.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Working on My Fitness

I finally got my butt in to my local running store and got myself fitted for some new shoes. My old Saucony's were several years and several miles past their prime. I was interested in trying the Brooks since so many people swear by them, but it turns out that I am a Saucony girl through and through. They just felt the best on my feet. I went with a different make of shoe and got the Mirage 2.

They are really light and comfortable. I decided to break them in on no less than a 5 mile run and they felt pretty good. My left knee started to hurt during the last mile, but they could be because I tweaked it doing Jillian last week. I was going to try another run last night, but I made a poor choice to have a taco salad for dinner (lettuce only, no crunchy bowl). That was a mistake as it did not agree with me at all and I spent a good 15 minutes in the bathroom. I decided to forgo my run rather than risk shitting my pants. I already had to clean up Emmeline's poopsplosion and I didn't want to rinse out shit from two pairs of pants in one night. Call me selfish that way.

So, I've got to get my run on tonight because I've got my 10K Groundhog Run on Sunday with the lovely ladies, Holly, Darci and Molly. (Should I start going by Mandy so I can fit in with the I/Y names?) I haven't had the chance to meet Darci and Molly yet so I'm super excited. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I've never run as far as 6.2 miles, and I'm hoping that running with friends will just push me through to the end.

Speaking of never doing something before, my sister had mentioned to me when we ran our first 5K together back in November that she wanted to try the Warrior Dash. For some reason, I started thinking about that last night and looked it up only to discover that it was coming up April 27th! I texted her to ask if she still wanted to do it and she was all Hell, yeah! so I am now officially signed up! I've heard awesome things about this and it looks like so much fun. Now, I just have to come up with a good costume.

I also have to tell you how proud I am of Jason. He attended his first CrossFit class last night. He had been looking at it for a while because he wants to get in shape, but has been struggling with taking the first step. He finally took it and went to an introduction class. He said it was brutal, though and is really sore today. Apparently humility is one the philosophies of CrossFit and he learned it during the class. He did not like the fact that he was the heaviest person there or the slowest person to do the workouts, but he did not quit. He finished the class, he survived and is stronger for it. I am just bursting with pride for him because I know how hard it was for him to do that, but he can only get better and stronger!

If you are interested in a kick ass giveaway, head on over to Lora's page. She is celebrating hitting 300 followers and got an amazing group of women (including me) together giving away a bunch of things you know you want!

Any big plans for your weekend? Upcoming races or events that are can't miss? Tell me all about them!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Trust in me

I had a rough start today. I managed to turn my alarm off last night when I thought I was turning it on so I woke up an hour and a half later than I normally do. This resulted in hitting all the local elementary school traffic, which was pretty awesome. Then, Emmeline decided to be super clingy this morning and threw a major tantrum as I dropped her off at daycare. Thanks for letting me start my day with your heart wrenching screams, darling.

My post is actually not about my day, though. It is about trust and honesty. We had to swing by the grocery store on our way to daycare to pick up some pull-ups since munchkin is still not potty trained. Jason grabbed my purse and was looking through my billfold to get out the grocery store discount card. It got me to thinking that several years ago, if my ex-husband had done the same thing, it would have sent me into panic mode. "What is he looking for? Do I have something in there that he shouldn't see?" Now, I have none of those feelings. For those of you who haven't read my story, you can do so here.

I was unhappy with myself for many years but it never dawned on me to look within myself to find happiness. To me, what everyone else thought about me was much more important and so I wanted to be the party girl. I wanted to go to happy hours and drink and have fun and forget that I had responsibilities at home. If another man found me attractive, then that was fabulous and I felt validated.

As with any party atmosphere, you tend to do things that you shouldn't and this happened to me several times over a period of years. My ex was always suspicious, but I covered my tracks with lies thinking that it would all be okay. The thing with lying is, that you have to keep it up. You have to remember which lie you told and in what context. You can't keep it up forever and it is a constant stressor. Of course, it was no big surprise to anyone when my lies were found out.

My ex and I didn't have a bad marriage, we were actually got along great together. We just didn't have a relationship built on complete honesty. We kept things from each other about money and feelings and it just breeds an atmosphere of mistrust.

I no longer have that type of relationship. Jason and I established early on that we would be completely honest about everything even if that meant talking about something excruciatingly uncomfortable. I do not like to talk about my feelings, yet if he can see that something is bothering me, he will not let up until I spill it. And that works both ways; he suffers from depression and I can see when he is falling into the pit of despair, I will make him talk to me about it. I can't always help, but at least he's not in bed festering about it.

It is funny how one small act of looking through a billfold can spawn all of this, but it is a very important thing to me now. I don't want people to read my story and think "Once a cheater, always a cheater" because it isn't true. You have to put trust in yourself and in your partner that cheating isn't an option. To me, it isn't worth it because I have found that I don't need that validation from others anymore. I am finding it in myself. I ran 5 whole miles last night. 5 years ago, I wouldn't have even considered attempting that and would make up some excuse. Not anymore. This is who I am now and I am loving her.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Running Attire link-up

Two posts in one day? Yes, I'm trying to catch up, plus I didn't want to miss the link up with Mel since I missed her last one.


So, today we are talking about workout attire. To be honest, I don't have a lot of stuff yet. I'm slowly accumulating. For starters, I have two Moving Comfort bras and they are the best sports bras I've ever owned. Totally worth the money, although they are both now a little too big for me.

I also have one pair of running shorts from Moving Comfort, although they are on the big side, as well. I noticed that I have a lot more booty shaking when I run in those, so I think I'll stick to my compression pants.
These are my favorite running capris that I bought from REI. I need to get another pair so I can alternate. I do have two more pairs of capris from Old Navy that I bought for a steal. These are longer in the leg and I just don't like them quite as much.
As far as tops go, I have only bought one actual workout tank and the rest of the time, I'll wear a regular tank top or t-shirt. I really need to get some long sleeve workout shirts so I can look as cute as Mel, not that I'll be running outside anytime soon after last weekend's debacle.

And last, but not least, I am finally getting some new running shoes! I went to a local store last week to get professionally fitted, but they didn't have the ones I liked best in my size. They had them sent over from another location and I get to pick them up tonight. So excited. My old Saucony's have just about had it. I'm still a Saucony girl, though, as I picked out these babies.

Saucony Mirage 2
That's about the extent of my athletic wear. Anyone else feel like going shopping?

Monday, January 21, 2013

My 4 day weekend

So, another Monday post fail for me. Not being at work just somehow makes it easier to not do it. Either that or I'm just a slacker. I had a great weekend with all my girls, though. I just wish I could have had them longer (as usual).

Friday was my day all to myself and it was glorious. I pretty much did nothing all day until about 3:00. I wanted to get a run in and since it was fairly nice outside, I decided to try it outside. Ugh. I haven't run outside in a couple months and I'd forgotten how much I hate it. It was a real struggle for me. I don't know whether it was the wind, the hills (my neighborhood is ridiculously hilly) or what, but I was sucking wind after a couple minutes. I only ran for a mile and came home feeling really disappointed. I tried to salvage a little bit by doing level 2 of 30DS.

Saturday, the girls and I went for a shopping excursion to Costco. They had never been and I wanted to explore the whole store. Jason is not a leisurely shopper. His favorite question while shopping is, "What next?" He and Emmeline stayed at home. It was her nap time anyway as evidenced by the fact that she fell asleep at the top of the stairs mid-tantrum after we left. The girls and I had a good time and pigged out on all the free samples. You could seriously make a meal of all of them. I did avoid the red velvet cupcake sample, thankyouverymuch. We then hit up a thrift store for fun and I managed to find a pair of brown dress pants from LOFT in a size 6. Woohoo for cheap skinny pants!

Sunday, Jason and I took advantage of the built in babysitters and hit up our favorite nature trail. We just walked, no running, but it was 3.2 miles with an elevation increase of 219 feet. Those hills are no joke. Came back and watched Pitch Perfect with Hannah. It was a really cute movie and I can see why she's slightly obsessed with it (17 watches at last count). I had to take the girls back Sunday night since she had something on Monday going on.

Monday, I went for a followup visit to my chiropractor. I had also gone Saturday morning after a year hiatus. My lower back has been hurting and I knew I needed to get realigned. Funny how having 5 kids will throw your pelvis out of whack. I'm all adjusted now and I feel so much better. I then went to Kohl's to return some clothes that didn't work out and I wanted to get some new bras. I found 4 new bras, so I am all set. I also perused the kids' clearance racks and picked up a couple outfits for Miss Em. Jason was not left out either as he got a new sweater.

All in all, I had a great weekend and much needed relaxation. I did not get my long 5 mile run in on Sunday, though. I kept procrastinating until it was too late (as usual). I'm starting to slightly panic that I have to run 6.2 miles next Sunday. Eek.

One last thing, I am up to 46 followers. Now, I'm no Lora Young or Holly Stanfield, but I'm getting there. When I reach 50 followers, I'll make sure and host a giveaway. Who doesn't love free stuff?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Urgent Care adventures

So, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that we were at Urgent Care with Emmeline last night. She had had a low grade temp all day and complaining that her ear hurt. Since I was at work with the car, Jason was stuck at home with her all day and couldn't take her to the dr. We desperately need a second vehicle, but that's a whole other post in itself.

As soon as I got home, we packed her up and headed over to UC. The one we go to is actually an extension of Children's Mercy Hospital and it is really nice. Emmeline was thrilled to be out of the house and ran around the place like she hadn't been sick a day in her life. Of course.
Checking out the HIPPA disclosure
We got back to the exam room and were seen by the dr. and she immediately said ear infection after looking in Em's ears. Never mind the fact that she just got over one three weeks ago. She wanted to go ahead and check her for strep to rule that out as well. Little Missy did not like having her throat swabbed, however she did get a popsicle to make up for it.

Strep test was negative so we got the prescription for her ears and headed out. Stopped at the pharmacy to get the scrip filled and then hit up Chipotle for dinner. I got the salad and managed to spill the dressing all over the floor when we got home. I'm pretty awesome like that.

Girlfriend went right to bed when we got home since it was already like 9:00 and I inhaled my salad. No workout since it was so late and I was exhausted, but I have another 3 mile run scheduled for tonight. I am just trying to get through the day today so I can enjoy my 4 day weekend. I'm so excited I can't even tell you. We've got all the girls this weekend so I need to come up with something fun to do. I'm thinking that maybe we'll hit up Costco and enjoy all the free samples.

Anyone else have some great plans for the weekend?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

So What Wednesday

Today I am participating in the So What Wednesday linkup with Life After I Dew. Gotta say, I am not loving life today.
So what if I stood in front of my closet for 15 minutes this morning because I couldn't decide what to wear. I was having one of those days where I hated all my clothes. This is what I ended up with, in case you were curious.

So what if our parking garage is a mile away from our building. It's not like it's cold or anything outside.
View of my building from the 3rd floor of the parking garage - its a long walk

So what if I have absolutely no desire to be at work today. I have a meeting today that I couldn't skip out on, otherwise I would have called in. Plus, I have Friday and Monday off so 4 day weekend, here I come! Please excuse me while I spend the next two days at work planning my next tattoo.

So what if my 2 year old routinely shuns her dad and only wants me to do things for her. It isn't getting old at all! (italics=sarcasm) It actually really hurts his feelings and I don't understand why she does it. She will scream at him to go away and come over and hug my leg. I'm all, what the fuck? Why does it have to be me? Oh, and she is sick again today with another fever and complaining that her ear hurts. Fan-fucking-tastic.

That's all I've got for today folks. It's not all rainbows and unicorns around here. Oh, and I'm so glad that I still can't upload photos to Blogger from Internet Explorer.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Tuesday blahs

Apparently, I can't get my shit together these days to get a post up on Monday morning. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm kind of in a funk and I just need to change things up to get out of it. I need to get out and have a fun night out without the kiddos. Maybe I just need more real life friends.

Moving right along, past the pity party, I didn't end up going to Joplin this past weekend. Miss Em woke up with a fever Saturday morning so we stayed home while Jason went down to visit. She pretty much laid around all day watching Dora the Explorer on repeat while I caught up on episodes of Nashville. If you haven't seen that show, you are missing out. Anyway, she didn't nap very long before she woke up crying. I gave her some Motrin which she promptly puked up and then she fell asleep on my chest. After sweating out her fever all over me, I finally laid her down when my bladder could not hold it in anymore and she was fine. Woke up in a good mood with no fever and it didn't come back the rest of the weekend. Kids are so weird with their sicknesses.

I did manage to do a round with Jillian Saturday night and Emmeline was so cute trying to do the workout with me. I figured it was the least I could do after couching it all day. That night, though, I could not fall asleep for anything. Emmeline kept making noise like she was talking in her sleep, but she didn't really wake up. I tossed and turned until about 3:30AM until I finally drifted off. Man, I really do not like having the bed to myself.

Sunday, Jason got home around mid-day and I putzed around for the rest of the day. I knew that I had a 4 mile run scheduled for my half marathon training, but I kept putting it off. At 9:00PM, I finally got my ass in gear and got on the treadmill. I ended up running 4 1/2 miles, the longest run I've ever done. I'm proud of myself that I didn't blow it off and actually finished it. I'm notorious for not completing anything.

I posted this on IG yesterday, but I liked it so much I'm posting it here too. I thought it was pretty telling.

Friday, January 11, 2013


I really don't like stairs. I thought that now that I am in better shape, I would have no problem with stairs. Nope, I still huff and puff every time I walk up a flight. I don't know what it is and I have to walk up and down stairs a lot. Our house has three floors, so two flights, I work on the fourth floor of our building and I normally have to park on the second or third tier of the parking garage. The garage is not attached to our building, by the way and is in fact about 100 yards away. I suck it up though because I refuse to take the stairs. That's just the lazy way and isn't going to help me get to my goals.

We are driving down to Joplin this weekend for our niece's first birthday. It is nice to visit with family, but I don't like not sleeping in my own bed and the drive is just long enough to be annoying.

Jason and I have very different ways of handling Emmeline in the morning. He is all business and gets her up and dressed to get out the door as quick as possible. As she likes to do things her own way, she has issues with this and each morning begins with a screaming/crying fest from Mademoiselle Crankypants. I try to ease her into the morning and let her pick out what she wants to wear, but I still have issues. This morning she picked out a skirt so I made her put on tights and she didn't want to wear them. Then she changed her mind about the shirt and wouldn't pick out a replacement. I had to leave the room because I was getting pissed and needed to finish getting dressed myself. Fortunately, Jason swooped in and picked out a shirt then rocked her to calm down her crying. This girl and I are going to butt heads and she's only two. God help me.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Playing catch-up and a Linkup

So I have finally crawled out from under the rock that has been work the past few days. Ugh, the first of the month is always busy for me, but combine that with end of the year stuff and we're talking 12 hour days. Not fun, or conducive to working out. Beer me.

To rewind, this past weekend was good (yes I know it is Thursday already). Emmeline was sick so the girls and I laid low and rented some movies. ParaNorman was actually really cute and had a good story. I also finally got to see Men in Black 3 and loved it!  Found out that Hannah is slightly obsessed with Pitch Perfect as she informed me that she has now watched it 16 times. I may have to rent that one next.
My sick (and cranky) little girl
Paige and Elsa playing with the tablet

I'm still working on my 1/2 marathon training schedule although I haven't been sticking to it to the letter. I did manage to get in my first 4 mile run ever on Sunday and it felt amazing. I can't wait until I can keep running longer and longer. I still have my 10K on January 27th and am very excited that HollyDarci and maybe a couple others will be joining me here in KC! I love blogger get-togethers.
That's right, I'm awesome
And just for fun, I'm linking up with Amy today for her Super Bowl Recipe link-up. To be honest, I haven't been to a Super Bowl party in years and rarely watch it, but I do enjoy the commercials. This is a recipe that I bring to potlucks though, and it is always a huge hit. The original recipe is from Kraft, but I have changed it up to make it better.

Avocado Corn Salsa
1 large tomato or 4 Roma tomatoes (your preference)
1 medium red onion
1 bunch cilantro
1 can black beans
1 can sweet corn
2-3 avocados
Salt (to taste)
Lime juice (to taste)

Finely dice the tomato, onion and cilantro and add to large bowl. Drain and rinse the black beans and corn and add them in. Halve and dice the avocados and add them in as well.  Season with salt and lime juice and mix well.  Serve with tortilla chips.
Optional: Add in a couple diced jalapenos if you want some kick or add in ¼ cup of Italian dressing for added flavor.

Now I'm off to catch up on five days worth of blogs. I may be reading for a while. I have missed so much!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Shopping Expedition

Last Saturday night, I finally got my shit together, rounded up all my gift cards and headed to Kohl's to get some shopping done. Why I waited until Saturday night, I have no idea. Procrastination is an art, my friends.

I had high hopes for this trip and I even had a list of items that I specifically wanted to shop for, thanks to the fashion websites I follow. I also was expecting some great deals since this was right after Christmas. I was not disappointed in that respect as they had all the racks of clearance laid out all over the store. And can I just say that I really don't like how department stores are laid out? Maybe it is just me, but I don't understand why the clothes have to be segregated by brand. Why can't the pants all be in one place?!

Moving on... it was actually tough for me to stop gravitating towards the Larges and size 14's. I had to keep reminding myself that I was not that size anymore. I am firmly in a size 8 pants and a medium top. This actually made it a little more difficult as those sizes seemed to be more picked over. However, trying on clothes was not as frustrating as it usually is since things actually fit me this time. That was a nice change. My main problem was just making a decision on what I wanted. I am the worst when it comes to decision making and clothes are no exception. I am also the biggest cheapskate and cannot bring myself to spend huge amounts of money of one item. $30 for one shirt! Back on the rack it goes. Clearance racks are my BFF.

I did end up with two pairs of dress pants (sorely needed), a couple new tops, and a black pencil skirt. The pants are the Apt.9 brand in the curvy fit and I love them. I also had to get the petite or short style because regular size pants are always too long for my 5'4" legs. I'm still debating about the skirt as it was a little more expensive than the rest of the things and it was bordering on being too big. Plus, I really need to get some new bras. That is some frustrating shopping right there. Apparently, if you have big boobs, you must also be big around. Not always the case people. Why don't you stock some 34DD's for a change? Yes, that is actually my bra size. You're welcome.

Anyway, here are some pics of a few of my new outfits. I really need to get a full length mirror so I can stop taking pictures in the bathroom at work.
This top was so comfortable and I got tons of compliments on it.
The striped top was a racerback tank and the sweater is old. Pants are dark grey pinstriped.
This is my outfit today and I am in love with this button down shirt. Jeans are Old Navy and the boots are from Target.
 Anyone else find really good post-Christmas deals?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I'm hiding my scale

My weigh-in Wednesday post is a bit late, but it has been a rough week for me weight wise. I should have known it was going to be bad when Aunt Flo made her appearance on Sunday (a whole week early, I might add). Then when the scale read 150 on Monday morning, I kind of fell apart. I started carb loading like a fat kid at a birthday party. Sorry Mel and Meredith, total fail on the no carbs for a week challenge.

Needless to say, I did not win my Dietbet challenge. I am actually rather bummed about that because I hate losing money and because I really wanted to achieve that goal. However, this past week has just stressed me out to no end and I realized that I don't want to be a slave to the number on the scale anymore.

When I was thinking about my New Year's resolutions or goals, not one of them was to lose weight. Sure, I would love to take off this last 15-20 lbs, but I'm not going to make that a specific goal. This year I want to focus more on getting stronger, building up my muscles and seeing how far I can push myself. I would love to join Crossfit, but it isn't financially feasible right now, so I'll improvise. There are so many videos available on youtube, plus I always have Jillian to kick my ass. I just read this blog this morning and it completely summed up how I have been feeling. Courtney also posted this on Instagram, but I'm stealing it.


I started my half marathon training this week and I have my first 4 miler coming up on Sunday. I can't wait to complete it. I don't have a half marathon scheduled to run in as of yet, although there are going to be a bunch of awesome women at the St. Louis Marathon, so I'm considering that. I really just want to prove to myself that I can do it. The 13.1 sticker would be nice on the back of my car, though.

I'm still at 150 this morning and I need to take my monthly measurements, but I feel strangely okay with this. It isn't where I want to be ultimately, but it will be nice to not worry about it for a while. I need to hide my scale for a while so I stop stepping on it every morning. I can still rock #operationredbikini at 150 when it is all muscle, right?


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Resolutions and such

Happy 2013 Everyone! I hope you all had a happy and safe New Year's Eve. Me, I sat on the couch and drank champagne by myself. I really know how to party.

So, maybe it didn't end all that great, but 2012 was a pretty good year for me.
I started blogging! And I have had the great fortune to meet some wonderful women, both online and in person.
From the STL Blogger meetup

I finally got a new car this year, although my old one had to be wrecked in order to do so. Now, we have a vehicle that can seat all seven of us!
I got a new position within my company, then due to a lot of down time with said position, I discovered Mama Laughlin's blog and read it from start to finish. I finally got the motivation and determination I had been lacking to start working out and eating healthier. As a result, I have lost 30 pounds.
I started running, which is something I have never had any desire to do. I can actually run three miles without stopping. I have run/walked two 5K races now and plan to run some more.
I feel like I am in the best shape of my adult life. I can actually do push ups now!

Looking ahead to the new year, I have some things in mind that I want to accomplish. I'm not really making resolutions as those tend to go by the wayside. Instead, I'm more interested in laying out goals.
I want to fully run a 5K with no walking. If I can do it on the treadmill, I can do it during a race.
I am going to run my first 10K. I have already signed up for the Groundhog Run on January 27 so I've got less than four weeks to train.
I am starting the Hal Higdon's Half Marathon program. Now, I haven't committed to running a half marathon yet, but I thought the program would be a great place to start.
I'll be getting my second tattoo this year. Not quite sure when, but it will happen.
I plan to take an actual vacation with Jason to someplace tropical. I have had very few vacations in my adult life and I want to start making this an annual tradition. This also means squeezing my ass into a swimsuit!


Now, that leads me to Operation Red BikiniKassie and Elle Noel are sponsoring this great movement for women to find their own "Red Bikini", whatever that might be. For me, I am going to focus less on the number on the scale and more on how I look and feel. I want to push myself more with running and strength training. I also want to love my body and be proud of how it looks. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.